Originally published in the Guardian, Saturday 17 April 2010

An amusing email comes from South Lodge B&B. Owner Julia Cox attended a conference I addressed about marketing for bed and breakfasts and subsequently, she writes, approached online hotel website, Mr and Mrs Smith. Unfortunately, they declined to add her B&B to its roster on the basis that they couldn’t foresee sufficient demand for romantic breaks in Milton Keynes.

Well, I reply, why DO your guests come to Milton Keynes?

She sends me a list as long as a supermarket till roll, but by now, of course I’ve surfed her site and what I really want to know is this – what’s a boring-looking bungalow doing with such hi-tech interiors? Time to boldly go where Mr and Mrs Smith refuse to tread.

The train deposits me at Milton Keynes Central. Funny thing is, while I’m sure it all looked very strange and modern when it was first created back in the Sixties, now the town just looks like any well-laid-out, user-friendly, modern development. Julia picks me up – as she will any guest arriving by train – and we sweep off down boulevards to Wavendon, the area where she and partner Colin Frost bought their three-bedroom lodge house, set back off the A5130, 18 years ago. Since then – as I am about to discover – they have added and adapted to create what they now call “South Lodge B&B and private gathering venue”.

What shall I tell you about my night in Milton Keynes? Well, South Lodge is unlike any B&B I have experienced before and that’s no mean feat. Julia and Colin don’t do half-measures – they have gone full tilt down the eco-route. Ground-source heat pumps, solar panels, rainwater recycling and even a ventilation system which recycles the air to maintain heat.

Three double rooms are well spaced apart in a single-storey, purpose-built guest wing off a modern, glass-sided, light-filled sitting and breakfast room with fabulous art on the walls. I don’t need the Sky TV package, the lighting system is so sophisticated I could spend all evening playing with it – not just in my room but in the hallway where fluorescent wands are suspended from the ceiling and motion-sensor spots at ground-level.

So far so clever – but there’s more. In-room soundless fridge with water, Hornsea pottery, furniture by Jasper Morrison and Ligne Roset, Christy towels, electric Velux blinds and patio doors, total privacy but loads of natural light. My only criticism is that the toiletries (extensive, even shoe shine kit) are packaged in a style I call “Eighties guest house” and include those squitty little round soaps.

So the big question is – would I call this a romantic retreat? No. It’s a single-storey house with all mod cons for those with a chintz intolerance. The garden is large with terraces for summer breakfasts (though there is traffic noise). It has erudite owners who are real foodies and will happily cook for and host a house party. There is an accessible room (mine) which, instead of looking cold and hospital-like, is designed so that facilities (including use of colour to aid the sight-impaired) are part of the overall look, and South Lodge is not only easily reached from the M1 but by rail from London Euston, the East Midlands and Yorkshire.

Mr and Mrs Smith were right. The only box it doesn’t tick is the one headed “bijou bolthole for two”. But don’t let that put you off.

South Lodge,
Cross End,
Wavendon
+44 (0)1908 582946

From £62 per person per night B&B. Three-course dinner from £23 per head.